Obnoxious v. precocious.

Let me start out by stating that I am all about the children. I'm used to them, like being around them, and want them in my future. (Distant future, but it's a definite desire with me versus a "maybe someday with the right person" kind of attitude.) I say this because I want you to understand exactly how much it takes for me to call a child pure obnoxion. (No, it is not technically a word. No, I don't care.)

I'm babysitting for my little cousins today, aged 5 and 3, pretty good kids about 90% of the time. No biggie. Quite fun. I taught the elder that she could, and should, defy the gender binary and that it really was OK to be both a knight and a princess at the same time. I showed the younger that I could sing Aladdin's part in "A Whole New World" and no one was going to stone me. Good times. I also got a new crayon drawing for my office wall. Sweet. I love art.

A friend of D's came around in the afternoon. Rang the doorbell. Nice and polite. Comes in to the house. "You're really short." Thanks, kid, hadn't noticed. I hadn't realized that the reason I have a flippin step stool in my kitchen was so I could reach the mugs on the top shelf of the cabinet. Didn't know that my grandmother and mother had the same in theirs for the same reason. Thanks for the epiphany. Later, same pea pod asks me how old I am. "I am 22 years old." "Wow, you're really old." Really? Like your mom isn't 10 - 15 years older? I'm not exactly ailing over here. Then the best part. She starts walking away from this explanation of how terrifyingly near the grave I am, and then backpedals to add, "you're really short for your age." Yeah, well 5 year old D here has a higher reading level that your noxious 8 year old self, so why don't we cut reiterating the obvious and refocus our energy on phonetics so you can finally get past "Hop on Pop." I mean, what the deuce?

I appreciate precociousness. There's a level of wit and a smattering of intelligence that accompanies such behavior that can be endearing and valued in a young child. But this moved way past precocious. This kid was obnoxious, pure state-the-obvious-in-case-we-all-didn't-get-it-the-first-time-and-not-even-in-a-tactful-manner honky. There were other instances which prove this, and I'm really not going to detail them all out, but goodness...

And I bet her parents think she's cute.........