Another busy week has passed.

Yesterday marked my first week at the new job. I'm wiped. It's not that I was pushing 40 hours of physically tasking work, mind you. But all of the new information that I need to observe, all of the new processes that I need to learn - I feel like I'm back in school. And since it is getting into late August, that feeling will not be going away soon, I fear.

It is strange, not getting ready to pack up and move on. I've unpacked most of my boxes in the new apartment, and so very much into the later stages of "settling in." And yet, muscle memory tells me that I need to be packing again soon, figuring out what I'll need and what clothes are worth bringing to start the new semester. The semester that's never going to start for me. That's sounds a little melodramatic, I admit, and I don't mean it to. It's just that I have to mentally get myself used to the fact that I'm not going to college this semester. Honestly, I'm glad I'm not. I'm glad I don't have to deal with papers and homework and readings that I only half care about. But I will miss the people like you don't even understand. I already do. I don't quite get how I won't see so many people that I care about several times each week, and in some cases, each day. I know its a transition, and change is good, and believe me, I totally agree. I just wish that the transition and change didn't come with this feeling like I'm not where I'm supposed to be. I can't wait for my birthday. I'm going back to Wes for the event, seeing as I was so sick on my actual 21st. I'll hit up a bar with some friends, end the evening in the Grotto surrounded by my dearest ones, and sleep on some floor of some friend who has yet to be determined. (Any takers?) Then on the way back home, I'll stop at 6-Flags New England and scream my lungs out with my best friend. Then I'll go home. I think that will help. Knowing people are where they are, and that we are still a part of each other's lives despite differences in distance and circumstance.

I think I just have been missing a part of me that needs to feel love and appreciated and respected. Hell, I think I honestly just need a really good hug that doesn't pull away after a a second because it's too hot, or not right now, I'm doing something. Can't wait for my birthday. Gonna be a good on so many levels.